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How do you know when its time to end a relationship?

Tell Tammy: Local Life Coach Tammy Tkachuk answers your queries

By: Tammy Tkachuk

  |  Posted: Wednesday, Mar 21, 2012 06:00 am

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Dear Tammy,

My spouse and I fight all the time and I feel I am at my witís end. How do I know when it is time to end a troubled relationship?

If you feel that you arenít happy in your relationship with your spouse you do have options. Change things, accept how it is, or decide to leave the relationship altogether. You canít change your spouse, but you can change how you react to his behaviour. By accepting it, you are deciding that you are willing to live with the current issues.

If this person never changes, would you still want to be in the relationship? Think about what it will take for you to feel satisfied in this relationship? Does your spouse want to satisfy your needs? Does he/she have the capacity to do so? If you have tried everything and still feel frustrated, upset and unhappy, then maybe it is time to leave the relationship. At the end of the day, you donít want to leave the relationship lightly without putting in your effort and willingness to change.

Dear Tammy,

I have been feeling really overwhelmed in general and feel like I just canít deal with things that come my way. Do you have any general suggestions that will help me?

The best way to control the overwhelming feelings and panic when an event arises is to practice being calm and relaxed in your everyday life. Remind yourself that you have been through experiences in life that are similar if not worse and you have managed. Have you been through a tough time that you can recollect and managed to pull out of it OK? We all have at some point or another, and it is great if you can learn from those past experiences to help you in current ones. Another quick tip to help with the physical feelings of being overwhelmed is to practice deep breathing. This is a technique that can get you through many situations. Below are some basic instructions to help you practice it.

1. Sit or lie comfortably.

2. Put one hand on your chest and one on your stomach.

3. Slowly inhale through your nose or through pursed lips (to slow down the intake of breath).

4. As you inhale, push your belly/ stomach out and feel your stomach expand with your hand.

Final thought

Thank you to all of you who emailed in.

I am thrilled to be a part of the Airdrie community and to offer my guidance as best as I can. It looks like spring is well on its way, which often helps those of you who experience difficulties as a result of the cold temperatures, long dark days and gloomy skies.

Take advantage of the weather and extra sunlight that we are getting and go outside, get some exercise and breathe in the fresh air!

Email your questions to transitionlifecoaching@shaw.ca


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