Advice on how to keep your relationship fresh after 12 years
Tell Tammy: Local Life Coach Tammy Tkachuk answers your querie
Looks like summer is finally on its way! Everyone naturally feels better with the sun out and the birds chirping. Be sure that you continue to address the areas in your life that may need some change, and don’t just shelf it until the winter. The longer you wait the harder it will be to change the issue at hand.
My husband and I have been together for 12 years and it feels like we don’t know each other any more and have nothing to talk about. Can you offer some suggestions?
To start there are a few larger life areas that couples should update each other on a regular basis. Things such:
current stresses and worries
short-term goals such as what to do in the summer, and planning weekend outings together for the two of you or with friends or children
long-term goals like planning and saving for a vacation next year
Here are a variety of questions you can also ask each other to get to know one another again:
Is there anything you are afraid to tell me?
If money were no object, what would you do for a living?
If money were no object and you never had to work a day for the rest of your life, how would you prefer to spend each and every day?
Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you wish you could do over?
Why did you fall in love with me?
Why do you love ________? (For instance, “Why do you love riding your bike?”)
What’s the hardest thing you ever accomplished?
Of what are you most proud?
At the end of the day, spending quality time and communicating together is largely important in any relationship.
I having been feeling badly about myself lately and want to work on my self-esteem issues. I think that the one thing that will help me right now is if I can work on losing weight. What is the best way to go about this? Accountability has always been a major part of sticking to goals for me.
Self-esteem is a common issue that people struggle with. Self-esteem starts within and sometimes making alterations to our exterior may only make us feel better in the short term. Having said that the best way to start any new goal setting task is to get focused on what it is you want to do and then have a friend or counsellor to hold you accountable to the changes you want to make. Remember the key to goal setting is for them to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.
If you want more assistance with your goal setting please email me and I can help you through the process.
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