If there is one thing I have never enjoyed, it would most definitely be the task of having to talk about myself. Don’t get me wrong, I like to talk, but as a reporter, I have a natural desire to hear about other people’s fascinating tales rather than my own.
Of course, I have a few great stories that I like to bring out on occasion, typically to fill uncomfortable pauses or when I’m trying to appear more worldly than I am, but as a somewhat introverted soul it’s tough to stand on such a public platform and wow people with a life that for the most part has been pretty average.
So when I was given the task to “introduce” myself in this week’s column, I cringed at the thought and tried to come up with ways to get out of it. Unfortunately, as you can tell because you’re now reading my “official introduction,” I didn’t succeed.
In response to this dreadful task I have decided that instead of droning on about my background and where I come from and what my big dreams are for my life at the newspaper, I will instead give you all a few facts about myself that will allow you to come to your own conclusion about me.
I think that’s a better approach anyway. I’ve always thought it would be great if we could all wear T-shirts that list our top five best qualities on the front and top five worst qualities on the back. Then on the very bottom of the T-shirt it would say “Deal With It.” Simple, straight forward and not overly wordy - that’s something I think a lot of people would find refreshing. Then you let people choose if they want to be around you when they read on your T-shirt that you’re kind to a fault and like to snoop through people’s medicine cabinets.
So here is “me” in a very tiny, don’t-like-to-talk-about-myself nutshell.
I don’t like to drink milk because the actor Woody Harrelson once said it was full of cow snot and blood. I’m not sure exactly how true that is, but it had the affect of putting me off milk permanently.
I wanted to be a writer like Ernest Hemingway when I was younger. I was convinced I would live a jet-set life full of adventure until I realized that I have a complete fear of planes, boats and trains. On a recent cruise along the Pacific Coast, I wore my life jacket to bed most nights and wasn’t ashamed of that fact in the least.
I am a horrible procrastinator when it comes to writing. One time, I sat and watched a marathon of The Waltons just to avoid getting an article done.
I hate talking on the phone. If it wasn’t for email and texting I would probably lose all contact with people in my life.
If I only had one food for the rest of my life it would be pizza. Definitely pizza… or a really good sandwich.
I hate shopping, public washrooms, high heels, mushy stuff and spiders.
I am a hypochondriac.
I love autumn, tulips, lemon meringue pie and Thrills gum (I just chew it until the flavour is gone and then spit it out).
When I was younger I was positive that I was going to marry Tom Cruise. You have no idea how thankful I am that never happened.
My favourite movie of all time is Grease… don’t judge.
I cry at almost any movie that has an animal in it, especially if it’s a horse.
Before I became a writer, I seriously considered becoming an archaeologist, until I figured out the job was nothing like the Indiana Jones movies.
My favourite holiday is Halloween and my best costume ever was when I dressed up like Daffy Duck when I was six. Trust me when I tell you it was epic.
My birthday is on Valentine’s Day, which has been a blessing and a curse - it’s seen as romantic by some and a part of an overly commercialized holiday by others (mostly men who forgot to buy something).
I love being a writer and can’t imagine doing anything else… unless The Waltons happen to be on. Deal with it!
