I recently came across a cartoon that featured Charlie Brown and Linus.
Charlie Brown asks Linus, "What would you do if you felt that nobody liked you?”
Linus responded, “Well Charlie Brown, I guess I would take a real hard look at myself, ask if I am doing anything that turns people off... How can I improve myself? ... Do I need to change in some way?... Yep, that's my answer Charlie Brown.”
Charlie Brown says, “I hate that answer.”
Have you ever asked yourself about what makes for an authentic friendship? Real friendship is not superficial, where just surface conversation takes place. But real friendship is genuine, heart-to-heart... sometimes it’s friendship that deals with the tough things where we have to be honest about how things really are.
Friendship calls us to be honest about who we are and what is happening in our lives. We share our hurts, show our feelings, admit our failures, let others know about our doubts, even admit that we have some fears and weaknesses. Authentic friendship is often the opposite to what you find in our world today. Instead of practicing honesty and humility, there is a lot of pretending, role playing where people are polite on the surface, but shallow in their conversations. People often wear masks, they keep their guard up and act as if they’ve got their act together. But these sorts of things often spell the end of real friendship.
When we become honest and open about our lives, it’s then we experience authentic friendship. It’s often a risk because we have to take the chance we might get hurt or rejected. Someone once said that anything worthwhile involves a risk. It involves being vulnerable. Why would anyone take such a risk? Because it is the only way we grow spiritually and become emotionally healthy.
James 5:16 says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.”
Our problem is that we often fear rejection, we don’t want people to know the real us. But authentic friends accept each other, warts and all. They are open with each other.
The world will tell you that intimacy is something that takes place in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. Darkness hides our fears, failures and hurts, but it’s in the light that we bring things to the surface and show who we really are. A real friend will accept us, even with all our imperfections.
There is one more thing friends really do. They forgive each other just as God has forgiven us. Sometimes when things go wrong because of what we’ve done, we can think, “Oh, I bet God is getting back at me?”
Does God really treat us that way? No, He does not. The Bible tells us that God does not hold our sins against us. Once we confess to God our sins, our wrong doing, it’s all forgiven and forgotten. God will never bring up the past.
God wants us to model in our friendships the forgiveness He offers us. Have you ever asked God to forgive you for what you’ve done wrong? He will, if you will ask, and I imagine if you have a wronged a friend, if they are really your friend, they will forgive you too.
This week, seek to practice authentic friendships.
This Faith Matters column was provided by Tri-Community Baptist Church in Beiseker.
